I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
