Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
what day is it and did you see me today?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
