her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
