he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
