He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
