I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
