I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
