i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
