fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Randomize
