My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize