But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
