Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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