she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
