It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
