He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
