My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
