careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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