I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
