He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
