there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
