Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
