she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Rumble strips road head = magical
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
