Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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