I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just took my morning after pill in the library
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
