She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
