He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
