wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Randomize
