Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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