everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
