mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
