no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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