Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
