I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
