I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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