let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
