Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
