How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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