Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
