peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
