i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
