I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
