Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
