This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
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