The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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