The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
