Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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