If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
