Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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