guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize