thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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