and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
