Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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