I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
