Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
