After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
