Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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