absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
