If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The beer is more important than you right now.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
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