SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
