its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
