I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize