If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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