if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize