And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
