My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
