Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
