I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
