Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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