i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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