i wish peter jackson would direct porn
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
