I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
